The Day the Farm Made a Movie

On a wobbly little farm lived four animals who were about to become movie stars.

(They just didn't know it yet.)

It all started one sunny afternoon when Daisy the cow peeked through the farmhouse window.

Inside, Farmer Fred was watching something on his little black box.

A movie.

Daisy gasped.

There were actors. There was drama. There was loud, exciting music.

It was magnificent.

Daisy stomped into the farmyard, eyes wide with vision.

"FRIENDS!" she announced.

"I have decided."

"We are going to make a MOVIE."

Chuck the Duck stopped mid-ninja-kick.

"A movie?" he said.

"With action?"

"With ninja kicks?"

"With as many ninja kicks as you can do," Daisy promised.

Chuck did a victory flip on the spot.

Penny the Pig rolled out of the mud, dripping.

"Will there be a director?" she asked.

"Yes," said Daisy.

"And it will be —"

"ME!" shouted Penny.

"I LOVE telling people what to do!"

She climbed straight into the feed trough.

"This is my director's chair," she said.

"Now somebody bring me a clipboard."

Nobody had a clipboard.

She used a leaf.

Sheldon the Sheep was chewing a dandelion in the corner.

"Sheldon!" Daisy called. "You will be in our movie too!"

Sheldon kept chewing.

"I'd rather not," he said.

"Too bad," said Penny from her trough.

"You're now the Mysterious Stranger. You appear in every scene. You don't have to say much."

Sheldon thought about this.

"Do I have to stop chewing?"

"No."

"Then fine."

Next, they needed equipment.

Real movie people had cameras.

The animals had a bucket.

Chuck punched a small hole in the bottom with one swift ninja kick.

"That is now the camera," he announced.

Real movie people had microphones.

The animals had a sock tied to a long stick.

"That is now the microphone," Penny declared.

"Smells a little farm-y but it will do."

Real movie people had clapperboards — the snappy black-and-white things they used to start a scene.

The animals had two flat rocks.

CLACK.

It was perfect.

Penny tucked her director-leaf under her arm.

She climbed back into her trough.

She pointed dramatically at her cast.

"Places, please!" she shouted.

"And… ACTION."

Daisy stood in the middle of the farmyard, one hoof raised heroically.

She had been working on her monologue all morning.

It was about a lost button.

(It was a very emotional button.)

"Oh button," she began, her voice trembling.

"Where have you gone, dear button?"

"My heart aches without you."

"My soul cries —"

She got too dramatic.

"M—"

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

The bucket-camera flew straight off its perch.

It bounced across the yard.

It rolled into the chicken coop.

The chickens did not appreciate this.

"CUT!" yelled Penny.

"Daisy, that was beautiful."

"But maybe a little less moo next time?"

Daisy nodded thoughtfully.

"I will try."

"But I make no promises."

Chuck took his place at the top of a hay bale.

Penny tucked her leaf-clipboard under her arm.

"Action!"

Chuck took a deep, focused breath.

He narrowed his eyes.

He let out a tiny duck-sized "HIYAH!"

And then — with every ounce of ninja-duck strength he had — he leaped into the air.

He kicked.

He spun.

He landed in a heroic action pose, one wing extended like a sword.

It was magnificent.

It was also too much for the hay bale.

The hay bale wobbled.

It tipped.

It rolled across the yard —

— directly onto Penny.

"OOF —"

Penny popped out a moment later, covered head to hoof in hay.

She still held her leaf-clipboard.

She blinked a piece of hay off her snout.

"CUT," she said, calmly.

"Beautiful work, Chuck."

"Daisy, please help me get out of this hay."

Sheldon was finally up.

He had one line.

ONE.

"We must save the farm!"

Penny had practiced it with him for fifteen minutes.

She had explained the importance of timing.

She had described the emotional weight.

She had even drawn his motivation on her leaf-clipboard.

Sheldon had nodded the whole time.

He looked very thoughtful.

(He was, in fact, chewing a daisy.)

Now Penny pointed at him grandly.

"Mysterious Stranger… speak."

Sheldon opened his mouth.

Everyone leaned forward.

Daisy held her breath.

Chuck froze mid-pose.

Penny gripped her leaf so hard it ripped.

Sheldon chewed.

He chewed some more.

He paused.

The whole farmyard fell completely silent.

And then — finally — Sheldon said:

"Bah."

Just "bah."

Very quietly.

Like he'd only just remembered he was supposed to say something.

Nobody moved.

Nobody breathed.

And then —

Chuck started giggling.

Then Daisy started moo-snorting.

Then Penny fell out of her trough.

Sheldon kept chewing.

"What?" he said.

"That was the best 'bah' in farm history!" Chuck wheezed.

"It was perfect!" Penny gasped, getting up.

"Sheldon, you're a natural."

Sheldon shrugged.

"I told you. I'd rather just chew."

By scene four, Penny had a vision.

A big, dramatic, finale scene.

All four of them.

Together.

Saving the farm from… something.

(Penny was still working out what.)

"It will be EPIC," she shouted.

Everyone got into position.

Chuck on top of the haystack.

Daisy by the apple tree, ready to deliver her saddest moo yet.

Sheldon under a wheelbarrow because Penny thought it looked mysterious.

Penny herself in the trough, raising her two-rock clapperboard.

CLACK.

"ACTION!"

A breeze swept across the farm.

Daisy mooed dramatically.

Chuck leapt heroically.

Sheldon poked his nose out from under the wheelbarrow.

And the sock-microphone —

— flew right off the stick.

It floated through the air.

It floated some more.

And it landed on top of Farmer Fred's head.

He had just walked into the yard.

The sock dangled over his eye.

Farmer Fred blinked.

He took the sock off slowly.

He looked at it.

He looked at the bucket on its perch.

He looked at Daisy mid-moo.

He looked at Chuck still suspended in the air.

He looked at Sheldon, peeking out from under a wheelbarrow.

He looked at Penny in the feed trough holding two rocks.

Farmer Fred said one word.

"…What."

The animals froze.

For one terrible, wonderful moment, nobody moved.

Then Penny climbed bravely out of her trough.

She held up her leaf.

"Farmer Fred," she said, in her most serious director voice.

"We have made you a movie."

"Would you like to see it?"

Farmer Fred slowly… very slowly… nodded.

So they showed him.

They acted out every scene.

Daisy did her dramatic monologue. (With slightly less moo.)

Chuck did his ninja-kick sequence. (And only mildly broke the hay bale.)

Penny narrated everything from her trough.

And Sheldon — at exactly the right moment — looked into the imaginary camera and said:

"Bah."

Farmer Fred didn't move.

For a second, nothing.

Then his shoulders started to shake.

Then his belly.

Then his whole body.

Farmer Fred burst into the loudest, deepest, wheeziest laugh anyone on the farm had ever heard.

He laughed so hard he had to sit down on the ground.

He laughed so hard his glasses fell off.

He laughed so hard the chickens came out of the coop to see what was happening.

"That," he gasped, "is the funniest thing I have ever seen."

Penny held up her leaf-clipboard like a trophy.

"We are MOVIE STARS!" she shouted.

Chuck did a victory ninja flip.

Daisy bowed deeply.

Sheldon chewed.

That evening, the farm gathered around the apple tree.

The sun was setting in soft pinks and oranges.

Farmer Fred had brought out a little stool to sit on.

Daisy was already planning the next movie.

"This one," she announced, "will be a musical."

Chuck did a small twirl.

Penny grabbed a fresh leaf — her clipboard had not survived the day.

Sheldon looked up briefly.

"As long as I don't have any lines," he said.

"You have one line," Penny said immediately.

Sheldon sighed.

"What is it?"

Penny smiled.

"Bah."

Sheldon thought about it.

He chewed for a long, long moment.

Then he said —

"…Fine. I can do that."

The whole farm erupted in laughter again.

The chickens cheered.

The apples wobbled.

Even Farmer Fred chuckled all the way back to his porch.

Because on this wobbly little farm —

every story turned into a movie.

And every movie was a hit.